How Do You Like Them Apples?

Spencer Tracy, Unleashed

Travis — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:10:56 +0000

The court room is the one reliable setting in the movies to find great call out scenes. In my opinion, the greatest courtroom movie ever made is Inherit the Wind, a thinly veiled dramatization of the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial, which questioned the legality of teaching evolution in public school science classrooms. And since ignorance and stupidity apparently has the lifespan of a small galaxy, this is a topic as timely today as it was 80 years ago.

In this scene, the godly Spencer Tracy beautifully calls out an entire courtroom of yokels (and ultimately any fool that actually believes creationism should be taught in science classes). If you are someone that is turned on by brains and intelligence, you’re about to jizz in your jockeys while watching this speech. Spencer Tracy fearlessly turns passionate conviction into pure, eloquent fury.

Perhaps the saddest thing to keep in mind while watching this scene is the knowledge that Spencer Tracy loses this case. Seriously. Religious stupidity was written into the law books for over forty years in some states until 1968 (Inherit the Wind came out in 1960) when the Supreme Court ruled that teaching creationism while disallowing the teaching of evolution in schools violated the 1^st amendment because it endorsed a religious viewpoint (no shit Sherlock). And why are we still dealing with this today? Why is this still important? Well, in Mr. Tracy’s immortal lines:

“… Because fanaticism and ignorance is forever busy and needs feeding. And soon … with banners flying and drums beating, we’ll be marching backward – backward – through the glorious ages of that 16^th Century when bigots burned the man who dared bring enlightenment and intelligence to the human mind.”

Oh man, I need to change my pants.

Breakfast (Club) of Champions

Travis — Tue, 06 May 2008 23:46:52 +0000

With great call out scenes interspersed with equally bad dance scenes, The Breakfast Club is the call out movie of the 80s. Taking place entirely in a high school library in front of a shitty modern art sculpture, this movie taught millions of white kids across the country how to have angst and that Emilio Estevez gets off on taping other guys’ butt cheeks together.

The scene below stands out from all other scenes in the movie as it is the only call out containing a shred of maturity (well… at least until Principal Vernon takes off his jacket… then the movie is comfortably immature again). Also, because the most effective call outs happen when the person getting called out is usually on the giving end of tongue-lashings, it feels oddly gratifying watching Bender getting put in his place considering he spends 3/4^ths of the movie annoyingly instigating crap with the other characters.

And personally, I’ve always thought Principal Vernon is by far the most interesting character from The Breakfast Club (and a great movie villain overall, for that matter). Think about it. This scene isn’t about Bender being a punk—it’s about how much it sucks to be Principal Vernon. You know his line about being “well-liked” as a “swell guy” is total BS. This is a guy at the end of his rope:

Suck Julianne Moore’s Dick

Travis — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:09:16 +0000

I’ve never figured out what makes pharmacists so special they have to build their little pill-filled fort a foot above the ground. It’s not embarrassing enough to have to refill your that prescription for your rash you got from your sister for the third time, but is it really necessary to tower over you, making you feel like a little kid? They may as put up a sign that says “No Sickies Allowed” and throw water balloons at you.

So, thank god for the beautiful Julianne Moore in this great scene from Magnolia. Even though I’ll admit these are the quickest pharmacists on the planet (what is that… 5 prescriptions filled in 10 seconds?), they are the worst kind of assholes: the kind that smile at you while making you feel like shit.

This is probably one of the most gratifying call outs you’ll ever see. Nothing more than a random string of expletives and declarative sentences, this is what it looks like when someone is seething.

And when is the next time you will get to hear an Oscar-nominated actress telling someone to suck their dick? … What? You’re into that sort of thing?? Shame on you! Shame on both of you!

(the fury starts at 2:00)

You Know You Like Them Apples

Travis — Fri, 02 May 2008 00:01:10 +0000

Welcome to “How Do You Like Them Apples,” the celebration of the best “call out” scenes from the movies you love (and hate). Because we know nothing makes us feel better about ourselves than watching some douchebag/prick/bitch getting called out for douchebag/prick/bitch behavior, we want to bring attention to the art form of a strong, ballsy call out.

We’ll bring you regular updates of the best call outs we can find. If you have any ideas for good scenes: YouLikeThemApples@gmail.com.

In the meantime, feel the love: